Monthly Archives: August 2011
Sarah Vowell had this great story in some This American Life episode about the time she went to Seattle or San Fran or whatever and enlists in this goth tribe institute. Most of the said goths claim lonerism and introvertedness so by order of the goth institute of seattle or san fran or whatever, you must spend as much time out as you did getting ready. Well I broke that rule good and proper tonight, my outfit exceeded the event /break/ which I am sure is a dilemma of most goths and fashionistas alike.
There is a bit where our narrator Sarah is asked to pick a “goth” name they go around the circle and make it so. Most pick names like Raven or Caligula or badtz maru and this continues for the duration of orbit until we reach miss Sarahsmartass genius of the universe who says “Becky.”
I gotta say when she let that one out I reached Ira Glass Nirvana in my car.
Sister Sarah I say this; nothing screams American Gross like “we love you Conrad… hi Margie, hi Alice” or the lines of young women behind the Beiber barricades.
See loves, we are going goth, hell we’re mostly there; we have raped and beaten the 80′s, left them in a ditch to bleed to death and now we are anointing our Joni Mitchell altars with that very-same permed blood. Eddie Munster creeper shoes, upside down crosses, pentagrams! We are not stopping till we rise Kurt from the grave then put him back again.
Sure I can do dark princess but I prefer gypsy krishna.
note** miss Sarah V was the voice of Violet in The Incredibles that’s how you know her… silly
Goth Episode LISTEN, you’ve got nothing better to do, unless you work with the kids then please go save the kids http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/118/what-you-lookin-at
…said the customer to the sales rep
“easy” the rep chirped
“they are available in a myriad of stores from los angeles to japan to new york city, also maui, hong kong and new jersey”
the shopper was taken back by such wonderful news, but then after a moment of gathering spoke out “but… what if I live in outer space or delaware? then what am I to do?!”
the sales rep grew a sympathetic smile “do not fear young padua, the internet is everywhere and you can order there as well. all you have to do is visit bowjie.com or etsy.com or even email the maker herself at email@example.com and you can pay by trusty PayPal using any major credit card or digital bank account.”
the shopper grew silent
“fear not” said the sales rep “there are many a way to obtain this one of a kind creation, and with that you must find joy”
the shopper then shed a joyous tear “bowjies for everyone” she exclaimed.
with that the anxiety was released an cats began to sing classic musical numbers.
also @ loaves japan, tropical kidz maui, shabby home hong kong, and black markt west la
AND this is the major majorness they found.
Granted I saw more rainbows than rawhide I can firmly say The West has won.
There were goth leprechauns, 90′s XOXO revivals, a mermaid and uber chic road kill. Judy Garland was jerkin’ and Pistol Pete was drinking a scarlet martini with sour patch kids in it. I was in one of Stefan’s monologues, I was in heaven. Humanity is going to be just fine if places like Royal T procreate with companies like Petro Zillia- you killed it, beat it down, and revived it tonight with that party- Never Stop, that’s an order.